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The biggest shame as Alt.com/AFF bought and closed it down. Many other sites follow this model, like Femdom Dating, which also fills your mailbox with messages trying to get you to pay so you can read them. So if you are much over 30 you may not generate much interest. It too is mainly younger people, but many appear to be real and there is a large number with dating profiles. And if you are a submissive male there are 10 zillion for every eligible female.

And all of them are from hot young women, by their photo, looking for a slave to worshi8p them, although they live thousands of miles from you, are young enough to be your daughter, and won't reply to your messages, since they do not really exist. Church of Chains uses the same interface, but I do not know if they are at all related. It is international, mainly Dom Male and sub females but there are the opposite orientations too. So you have work cut out for you if you expect to be noticed at all.

I realize that is now the status quo in American society, but it is simply a fact that height and weight proportional people on Fetlife, who are single and looking for someone, are perhaps THE smallest population, um so to speak.

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If you are hot, you may get some free play at parties and events.

If you are not hot but personable, networking within the community can eventually get you play.

it is not specifically a dating site, but no one objects if you contact people that look interesting. Some advice : first of all, no *censored* picture for your profile picture. second, if you contact someone that looks like you someone might want to talk to don't be an ass about it. Mistymouse ( my nym on either site) I have had 0 luck with Collarspace and Fetlife.

be polite, and friendly, like you would be if you were to meet someone at a party. They make me hate myself more than anything, no one ever messages you.

If you sign up for the free version your mailbox quickly gets messages from people who cannot have contact with unless you pay.

Once you pay, none of those people actually reply to any effort you make to contact them. In other words, 100% fake plants that the site employs to make people believe it is an active and successful site.

If you are a dominant the odds are less daunting, though still against you.

Go to events to learn techniques and develop a reputation in the community as a safe player and a decent guy.

However, most kinky people have to get out to events. There are also some big kink events that are great if you can afford to travel.

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