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We’re at a point where dating has become a very loose term. It could mean you’re going out for meals in public, or you could just be two Millennials, f*cking and texting. So, what do you do when you want sex, but you don’t want feelings?
If I’ve learned anything about casual sex, it’s that no one really knows what it means. My conflict throughout the past few years has been trying to figure out how to find the balance of being single and independent (basically just living my life, according to Queen Bey), while not reducing myself to just a “booty call.”While I know many women who are the ones who do the booty calling, it was not for me.
Sex creates an illusion of a relationship, but it does not lay the foundation for one.
You both get caught up in the excitement and the endorphins, and all of a sudden, you think you know someone because you’ve been “f*cking and texting” for three weeks straight. You just think you know the idea you’ve created of this person. And, it may make you think you have “so much in common,” or that you have a good sense of who this person is.
But, just because a guy is sending you kiss face emoji and is telling you how great he thinks you are does not mean he has any intention of pursuing a relationship with you.
Now, the only flakes I want inside of me are in the form of cereal. When someone is being hot and cold with you, it is a sign to either call him or her out on the bullsh*t, walk away or realize it is a pattern that will not change, so you should lower your expectations. What matters is you are wasting your time by trying to figure it out.
When someone is inconsistent, it means he or she either doesn’t know what he or she wants, or he or she does know what he or she wants and doesn’t know how to communicate that to you.
This is called counter dependency, which I have written about before. If we go for people with whom we know it won’t work out, it hurts less than putting ourselves out there with someone it actually might work out with.
Why does he say he wants to hang out, but instead of making plans, just likes my Facebook statuses?Here are five things I’ve learned about casual sex: After a series of disappointments, I had no choice but to examine the role I was playing in all of this. I’d meet a guy, we’d hit it off and just when I started to feel like I could trust him, he’d turn into a giant flake.I would then blame myself for being stupid enough to experience human emotions. Once I figured out why I was choosing them, my entire perspective changed.We get along, we make each other laugh, we are interested in each other’s lives, we can go out for meals in public and have things to say and wait… And, at some point, it either needs to progress or stop.If the two of you are truly enjoying each other’s company in and outside of the bedroom, I hate to tell you, but you both have the case of the feels.All of a sudden, both of you are like, whoa, this is clearly not a sustainable speed.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating